I'm struggling. I want to use so so bad. I want to hurt myself. I want to end this pain. Enough said.
Tuesday 5 January 2016
Teen Angst...
...I just wanna get away from myself. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like I'm in a constant brain fog. I'm so ansty and anxious, no matter what I do, I feel like I'm waiting for it to be over, so that I can move into the next thing.. Just get my life over, maybe? Hurry up and reach my natural end, because I'm too much of a damn coward to end it myself. I can't stop the train of negativity in my mind. I feel ill. All. Of. The. Time. Everything is SO fucking overwhelming. Yet I feel ungrateful. Because there are so many worse off than me. I never wanted to be here. I should have stood up for myself and left when I wanted to. Before I was drug down into this life and lost all sight of myself. I have to start thinking of myself and stop worrying what others might think or feel about me doing what I need to do for me.
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Sweetheart I know it's tough
ReplyDeleteAnd the urge to use can be huge
Just think of these urges like waves in a storm
At first they rush in
Overwhelming us
Almost drowning is with an urge to use
But if we just ride it out the wave will break and recede
Just keep letting those waves break Hun
I can relate to this
Someday i am my own worst enemy
I literally get in my own way
But we can beat this
I just know we can x