It's all lies...

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Gained...

I FUCKING SUCK!!!

I'm so sorry :(

I gained 7 lbs back *CRIES*

I refused food for a day... and cleaned for 8.5 hours.. but then today and yesterday were a write off. Something around 1000 cals *cries*

*FAT FUCKING PIG BITCH!!!* Deserted again.

I'm sorry to post for the first time in a week and be so damn depressive.

I know that some of you are doing really badly... I so hope things get better again. Trust me.. not eating, feels better than eating, right now, bc you just beat yourself up even more for eating. Fuck. (No, I'm NOT saying don't eat).

Ruby, I love you honey, hang in there x

Rayya, love you too x
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13 comments:

  1. ednos Linny10 July 2012 at 19:30

    I am sorry I know how you feel when this happens you try and work so hard just to get fucked. Ok maybe I am not the best person you post on you blog right now I am in a truly negative state so I am going to go again sorry you are struggling.

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    Replies
    1. Me Destruit5 August 2012 at 08:27

      No, you're totally right hun.. positivity 100% of the time, just isn't realistic x Never feel like you have to leave xxx

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  2. Rayya11 July 2012 at 03:06

    hey doll, i am so sorry things arent going well for you either *hug* if its any consolation I am also a fat pig (i dont know how that is any consolation) i really hope things pick up for you <3 love you lots and I am always here if you need me xxxx

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  3. Ruby Tuesday11 July 2012 at 03:38

    So good to hear from you but I am so sorry you are struggling right now. With me I often find it's one step forward and two steps back. Hang in there though sweetie, this won't last forever. You know you can contact me at any time even if it's just to vent. I know how hard holidays, especially family holidays can be, I've one coming up in 2 weeks and I'm dreading it. I just wish it was over and I was back home.
    Are you home now?

    Always remember I love you lots and am here for you,

    Sending you a big hug x

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    Replies
    1. Me Destruit5 August 2012 at 08:29

      I really thought I had replied to this :s I'm so sorry hun..

      I'm still in England now, til August 31st.. I think I read that you are back from Italy today, so by the time you read this comment, you will be back and it will be over with! ;)

      I love you too sweetheart and thank you *bigger hugs back* xxx

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  4. WinterA11 July 2012 at 16:20

    Nice to hear from you. It's hard to eat healthy when I am away from home. At least you are trying to stay in control. You are right. It sometimes is better to be hungry than eating and feeling like crap.

    I hope things get better for you too.

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    Replies
    1. Me Destruit5 August 2012 at 08:29

      Thanks hun.. The worst part, is not being able to go to the damn gym :s that is the problem and there is nowhere with any space for me to do my workout DVD, that I brought with me :'(

      xxx

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  5. Venus20 July 2012 at 22:02

    I could have sworn I had commented here... I hope you are okay! I'm worried. :/
    xoxo <3

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  6. Ayden25 July 2012 at 09:49

    Hi there, new follower, here!
    Just wanted to let you know that you now have one more person who will love and support you =]

    Gaining is the worst feeling ever... I'm coming off of a month or two of pure bingeing, and 20something gained pounds... So I know how ya feel, girl.
    Hang in there!
    XOXO

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    1. Me Destruit5 August 2012 at 08:26

      Awww, well thank you.. I will be sure to follow back! I see that I have gained a few followers, whilst posting nothing! Lol.

      I'm sorry that you had to go through the torture and lack of control of bingeing :( I know it sucks. I am just so glad that I didn't put back on all that I lost and more, which is what usually happens to me :s I gained back 5 lbs, which honestly, I can't complain about, it should have been far more.. We can shed it together though hun x Glad to have you following :)

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  7. Venus28 July 2012 at 03:37

    I hope you know I miss your posts and I am worried about you. I really hope you are okay. Don't get too discouraged because everyday is a new day. Change can start whenever you are ready. Success has to start from the desire born of failure. Please don't give up and keep your chin high. You are worth so much more than you put yourself through. No one can look down on you if you rise above them. <3
    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Me Destruit5 August 2012 at 08:23

      Thank you so much sweetie, you have no idea how much that means xx I will try to post a bit more whilst I'm in England, but once I get back, I plan on blogging more.. I just feel such a failure right now, such a pig. Ugh.

      *Love*

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