...in the head, physically, emotionally, mentally.
I couldn't get my meds because I'm broke and I lost my drug card somehow?? I need money to get meds so desperately, but we re broke. Right now, 70 quid might as well be 70 000 =(
I hate money.
I broke down today, because I can't handle my addiction, the way it makes me think, feel and want. The lack of meds probably brought this on, or at least amplified it, that plus PMSing for like over a week! I Began PMSing on time, but I am a week late for my period (no, I can't possibly be pregnant guys ;).
I just cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. My partner held me for a bit, then had to go to bed, I wish she'd just dragged me along with her and held me some more. Instead, I lay on the futon, in the living room and cried myself to sleep. I woke up just now, having not taken my other meds, well done me, and still very upset, but calmed down a little.
I wish my family were the kind that I could ask for financial help. Those that I could, my mum, dad etc, would, but don't have it... my brothers wouldn't, but they have it.. but then, that's my own fault =(
I'm a fool.
You are not a fool sweetie you are just struggling at the moment.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could do something to help, if I was there I would wrap you in a hug that lasts forever.
Is it possible to pay your meds off bit by bit?
It's ok to cry, I spent 3 days solid crying last week, it's a good thing, it means you can feel and you're not numb.
Sweetie, don't hesitate to contact me if you need anything, I am always here for you
I am a bit lost too and we can help each other.
Just remember you are a good person, a good mother and a good friend and I love you always.
Sending you hope, faith and a huge hug x
You're not a fool, you're trying to deal with a massive mountain of shit that would have strong sane people running screaming for the hills. That you're still hanging on speaks volumes for how UNfoolish and completely amazing you are.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come hug you and give you a shoulder for crying on. Sending you many hugs from across the oceans. Remember that you are awesome, no matter how much the inside of your head tells you otherwise <3
You are not a fool darling - you are not in the slightest! I feel so sad that your partner didnt even try to take you to bed to hold you some more.. thats just.. not right to me. I am so sorry. I have money problems at the moment too, and havent got my medicine for nearly a month - I am suffering for it too,I have been more anxious since.. so maybe it is to do with the meds hun. I wish I could help you out but I am in the same situation too. £21 on medicine a month is not really huge, but for me its an unnecessary expense and I dont even have £5 let alone £20. it feels like a huge amount so I totally understand.. maybe things will improve.. I really hope they do. I hope things get better for you my dear.. thank you for the lovely comment btw you really have brightened my day.
ReplyDeleteLove you so so much darling, hang in there, please.
Take care x
I have been trying to comment on your blog for so long. My computer has been acting up and deletes the comment when I hit send. I am so sorry for not finding a way sooner.
ReplyDeleteNow I can't think what to say...
Well, I am not going to try and make something up or find something polite to say about all this. I love you Destruit. I really hope things get better for you. I wish that I could make you feel better...
Love,
Venus
I'm worried. It has been MONTHS since you have posted. And I just wonder what is going on. I'm afraid you won't ever post again. I'm afraid I won't ever hear from you again. I would hope that the reason that you aren't posting is because things got better, or because you found some form of happiness so you don't need the blog anymore... But there are so many terrible things that could have happened...
ReplyDeleteWherever you are, even if you never get the chance to read this I hope somehow I can bring you a little luck, so- good luck.
I miss you.
I love you.
xoxo
<3 Venus
I am so so sorry that I worried you sweetheart, I am alive and I apologise for making you fear otherwise you are so sweet and I love and miss you lots too... I'm working nights (it hurts my foot/ankle like all hell).. And sleeping days and spending any time I between with my son... I promise I will blog on my next day off, for now I'm alive and I love you and hope you are dong ok.. All of you x
ReplyDeleteAh that is so good to know by the way. I'm glad you are spending time with your son too. I've been all over the place so thanks for commenting to let me know you were okay. It went straight to my email or I wouldn't have seen it because I haven't been on blogger for a while. Love you. Can't wait for an update on your life. :)
ReplyDelete<3 Venus
I wish I could sub to your posts like I do rubys I can't see if you have that option from my phone and my laptop has been collecting dust since I NEVER get a chance to go on it of late.. It makes me feel special that you care so much hun, I love you lots and remember that I care too and think about you and ruby and rayya and peri etc all the time xxx
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