Hey everyone,
Again it's been a while, but i'll be getting back to blogging again once I'm home and settled. I fly back in the early am..
On another note, I sprained/severely bruised my ankle and foot :'( which means no fucking gym! OR working out (real working out anyway), that is the BIGGEST thing that I couldn't wait to get back into once I got home, alongside getting back on track with the blogging world and keeping up with my amazing second family.. It's been lonely and miserable without you guys :( but, my own fault really, it's just SO hectic here.
So, fucking my foot up, was like, THE worst experience of being here... my mum and I literally collided (accidentally) and let's just say, I'm the only one who came off worse for wear. I;m on crutches and I have to fly! The reason it was so horrible though, is bc the obnoxious, socio-pathic twin brothers were there. One of them saw the whole thing, I came painfully crashing down onto both knees, and an elbow and as I twisted around, trying to keep from knocking into my mum (she just barrels through people without realising :s heh), my foot stayed in the same position, as my body twisted round. Not pretty. My last full night was spent alone, at the A&E... and yeh, my brothers were laughing hysterically at me and calling me degrading, humiliating, fat-names *cries*. I mean, I could be 50 lbs and they'd still call me fat, but right now I AM fat and it just.. stung. I couldn't believe that they could be so cruel. They certainly surpassed themselves and trust me, that is HARD. One of them once turned around out of nowhere, because I was annoying him and punched me clean in the face, sent me flying across the hallway. I hate them so much right now. I (begrudgingly) love them because I *have* to, but I don't like them one bit, heh. I was actually crying, not because of the excruciating pain, but because of shame and humiliation, made to feel because of them.
One good thing to come of this, is that every time I try to eat, I hear, 'eh fatty boom boom' and I can't bear to do it. Although.. I still have a bunch of English food packed, someone will enjoy it though, eh? Hopefully, just not me.... heh. I'll show them. They'll regret the day they ever called me fat. Just like they did before... but, you know what... it wasn't even them who 'regretted' it, it was my other brother. Oh well. They'll see anyway.
Can't wait to interact with you guys on a more regular basis, again! I'm gonna miss most of my family, but I won't miss this disgusting, filthy house and I won't miss the twins. So sad to say, but unfortunately true and if you knew them, you'd feel the same way. I just can't wait to return to normality. I just wish I didn't have to feel some relief over going home :( coz I love my family and I missed them SO much and will miss them again.. I just have to remember not to sugar coat and rose tint how it was here.
*Love*
I am the same way with my family. I went to visit my family on Monday because it was my sisters' birthday. They are twins and turned 14.
ReplyDeleteI miss my sisters and my mom like crazy but they ignored me the whole time and the first thing my mom said to me was to stop making doctors appointments to save my life because they cost her money. Celiac's disease isn't fun I hear, and they are making sure I don't have it. A stomach ache all day every day since middle school is not fun. She just assumed it hurt because of how much I ate. Not even joking.
Anyways. I miss them but then I call or visit and they all treat me like crap except for maybe one sister who has no friends except for me. She says I am her only and best friend.
Eh that wasn't supposed to be all about me but I mean to say I understand more than anyone.
I am so glad you are back. I did miss you but I myself have been away from blogging lately. Ah and I am sorry about your foot. Not being able to exercise sucks cuss words. I really hope things get better for you and don't worry.
I am posting a lot of thinspo and music and stuff to keep me in line and I am helping it will help everyone, so if you need something to do to avoid food, I would be soooo happy to help.
xoxo
Hey sweetie,
ReplyDeleteSo lovely to hear from you!
I'm sorry to read that you injured yourself, I hope it heals soon.
I'm also sorry you are struggling with your family,
Having been around my family a lot this summer, I know how stressful it can be,
Isn't strange the way we revert back to the role we played in our family as a child when we're around our families?
My role in my family is definitely the joker or the peace keeper. I always seem to get stuck in the middle of arguments.
Hang in there sweetie, you will be home soon and you will be able to get back on track,
The summer is over now, I've had visitors all summer and the last one leaves tomorrow.
Try not to let your family stress you out too much and don't listen to the cruel taunts of your brothers.
So great to get an update,
I've missed you!
Sending you love, patience and a big, big hug x
ohhh huni.. your foot sounds bad :\ i am so surprised that its not broken - it sounded like such a horrific fall! and shame on your brothers! that has actually riled me up somewhat - how freaking dare they, after everything you have been through.. I am so so sorry that coming home couldnt have been a better experience for you :\ i really hoped you could have a good time, i am sorry, but all will be well soon i guess right? you will be back on Canadian soil in no time at all, and hey you always have these posts to remind you but sometimes, more often then not the grass always seems greener.. your son must be getting so big now right? i cant believe how long you have been away - it feels like forever but i hope you can maybe take away some good memories.
ReplyDeleteIts great to have an update from you - i do hope you feel better soon <3 and dont allow them to get to you. do whatever you have to do to feel ok, dont let them get under your skin.. i know its easier said then done.. but you wanna hit those double digits for you and your happiness and health, they will eat their words and in the meantime dust your shoulders off and show them a middle finger or something.
love you darling, stay strong!
hope to hear from you again soon!! <3 xx